Become like little children

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She had been living with me for two months when she told me that she felt like she was growing up too fast. She wanted to slow down, to be more like a kid. She was 10.

My life had been all my own when she came into it. I was single, dating, working, hiking, setting my own schedule, my own pace, my own way of life. A middle of the night phone call changed all of that. Literally overnight my whole life changed. Suddenly I was a single mom to a 10-year-old who had had to grow up too fast, and after a couple of months together, she felt safe enough to tell me she was ready to be a kid again.

In Matthew, chapter 18, Jesus tells us to become like little children. She was embracing that passage. A little child is what she wanted to become. How could I help her do that?

“Let’s be kids!” I responded to her plea. “What shall we do? Where should we go? The park? The beach? Roller skating!”

She shook her head, as she does a lot, and told me that wasn’t it.

“Ice cream!” I decided. “The zoo, the circus, McDonald’s playland, a trampoline park, riding bikes!” I kept trying to revive her inner child. And she kept shaking her head, “no.”

I relented. “What do you need to make you feel more like a kid?”

She looked at me with the purity and innocence of a child and said, “Will you tuck me in at night?”

This kid with her brave façade, this kid who was deeply attuned to her own feelings and emotions, this kid who had gotten used to putting herself to bed at night and waking herself up in time for fourth grade every Monday through Friday, didn’t want to do it anymore. She didn’t want to be in charge anymore.

She wanted to become like the little children that Jesus talks about, the ones who trust their parental figures completely, the ones who aren’t shy about their need for safety and security and boundaries and love, the ones who follow the rules instead of making them.

That night and every night since I have tucked her in. She shakes her head, as she does a lot, when I tuck her in tight like a burrito and tell her she looks like she has a mermaid tail. But then she laughs and offers me her stuffed animal and asks me to tuck him in too, to kiss them both, to say, “I love you” and “sweet dreams” and “I’ll see you in the morning.”

When Jesus tells us to become like little children, he doesn’t mean that my hips should still fit in the swings, or I should feed my vegetables to the dog under the table or be able to fall asleep before I’ve even counted down from 5 because I’ve used up all my energy inside of this day.

Instead, he wants us to remember our need for him. He wants us to remember that we can trust it all to him. We don’t have to be in control all the time. We can turn it over. We can surrender it all to him, knowing that he has our best interest in mind, and he will not leave us or abandon us. He will be there to tuck us in at night with an “I love you”, a reminder to have sweet dreams, and a promise that he will be right there to wake us up on time for school in the morning.

This weekend we celebrate Mother’s Day, and I can’t think of anyone who needs tucked in more than moms. I’ve prayed more since this little one has come into my life than ever before, and I know I am not alone in that. Moms need the strength, the reassurance, the patience and kindness and gentleness and love of their Heavenly Father as much as anyone. Moms need reminded that their dreams matter. Moms need to be able to let go, to become like kids again, to surrender it all to the One who knit us together in our own mother’s wombs.

What I want this year for Mother’s Day is for us all to trust, to love, to surrender, to become like little children.

Katie Terrell is the director of Wilmington Hope House and shares in the ministry at Dover Friends Meeting.

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