‘And I know He watches me …’


Tracy Stewart - Contributing columnist



The other day, I was attending a meeting when one of my colleagues tried several times to interject a conversation to ask a question. The group was very involved with their conversation, and it seemed that no matter how many times she tried to interrupt, her words fell on deaf ears.

After a handful of unsuccessful attempts, she stated, “Why can’t they hear me? Am I invisible?”

The words, “Am I invisible?” resonated throughout my core.

Being a spouse, mother of five, and a mimi, I often feel just that … invisible.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said things like, “Supper’s ready!”, “Is your homework done?” or “Guys, come and pick up your things” with absolutely no response.

I also can’t begin to tell you how many loads of laundry or sink full of dishes I’ve done, and it seems as though nobody notices. I’ve often referred to myself as the laundry fairy or dish fairy, because it’s as though those living under the same roof as I think that these chores are magically done.

I’m going to guess that you’ve probably felt something like this, too. Maybe you’re the employee that has been passed over for a promotion. Or maybe you’re the friend that has reached out to someone with an email or text, and you never got a response.

Perhaps you’re the father who works day in and day out to pay the bills, and it doesn’t seem like anybody notices that there is electric or a warm home to live in.

Or maybe you are that mom whose constant requests and constant work falls on deaf ears and blind eyes.

Even though you may feel alone and invisible, I assure you that you are not. Jesus said, “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of our head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7, NIV).

Not only does God see you, but he knows what kind of hair day you are having!

I’ve recently been reminded that when we feel invisible, we need to shift our focus to the invisible. 2Corinthians 4:18 says, “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Sometimes when we focus on ourselves, we can become dissatisfied or depressed about our situation. So, we begin focusing on others.

When we focus on others, we begin to compare ourselves to their success or progress. We begin desiring recognition and acknowledgement; and when that doesn’t happen, it’s easy to become dissatisfied or envious.

I find this especially true with social media. Scrolling through post after post for too long can easily leave me feeling unworthy, invisible, and jealous. “Why do others get so many comments/likes?” “Why does so-and-so have…” “How come others seem to have more or better…?”

Hebrews 12:2 tells us we need to “fix our eyes upon Jesus…” So, it goes without saying that when we fix our eyes on others, we start feeling unworthy and miserable.

I promise you that there’s always going to be someone influential that is going to let you down, going to fail to see the real you, or your potential.

No matter how much we want others to recognize and know us, we must find security and joy in knowing that God is the one that truly sees us. He sees our desires, our heart, our passions and who we are…His children—made in His image.

“… you put me together in my mother’s womb … when I was growing there in secret, you knew that I was there — you saw me before I was born.” (Psalm 139:13-16)

When we know our true identity in Christ and understand that He knows every part of our very being, we may start to feel less invisible.

However, if you do feel invisible and alone, He may be calling you to seek Him. He may be asking you to change your focus from “look at me”, to look at Him — focus your eyes on Him.

After all, He is the only one that truly knows you and ALWAYS sees you.

Tracy Stewart is the director of Mom/Baby at CMH and is a youth leader at Sabina Church of Christ.

This weekly column is provided to the News Journal by members of the Wilmington Area Ministerial Association.

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Tracy Stewart

Contributing columnist