The pressure is on. My first column with this old-school medium of communication; the finest in my humble opinion, if you don’t count the cave etchings. Boy, weren’t they something?

And how appropriate to debut my first column on April 1. So many questions to be answered, such as how many words am I allowed? Can I swear? What’s the process of getting my musings to the people at Pulitzer? Can it be a trophy instead of a medal?

And finally, what is it that I have to say, and why is it that I think others need to read it too?

Despite all these queries and concerns I still feel compelled to tap down a bunch of words and hope they scatter into some sort of a sentence that might expand into a paragraph. I s’pose we could start with a little bit about me, yet I’m a private man so, really, what purpose would that serve?

OK, this much I’ll share: I’m the Executive Director over at the Murphy Theatre.

“That’s where I’ve heard that name before!” Yes, that’s me. Now don’t go thinking I intend to use this column as a cheap ploy to get extra publicity for The Murphy, though I will tell you we have a great show this coming weekend, Saturday, April 2, at 7:30 with the Sounds of Summer, a Beach Boys Tribute. Sentences like that will be few are far between, believe you me. Tickets are still available, just call 937-382-3643, or visit [email protected] .

Nope, no more of that tomfoolery and hyphenated-hijinks, at least not in this debut column, that is my promise to you. Whoops, I see I’m quickly running out of space.

When will my next column appear, you ask? You’ve been making some great questions, by the way. I can’t tell you when. This way you might pick up a paper or read online every day, searching for that next nugget of prize-wanting drivel. (Talk about a cheap ploy.)

Uh oh, I see there’s another hyphen, and I already broke my promise to you, my soon-to-be loyal reader. And there is one other reason I can’t tell you about my next column … after reading this, I’m not certain Tom will sign off on another.

Steve Burnette is the Executive Director of the Murphy Theatre and now an occasional contributor to the paper — when we need to fill space.