When friends, and smiles, return

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We have all experienced a week like the one we just had. My wife called it “… the week from hell.”

Every time the phone rang, every message we received seemed to bring more bad news. Not just “bad news”, but truly horrible news. Personally, I’m glad July is now behind us.

Bring on August. Let’s get the fall season started. I’m ready for long-sleeved shirts and football.

I would like to forget many of the things that have happened during the heat of July. But, that’s not going to happen.

Dennis Mattingly, Jamel Warner and I were working on the Good Morning Wilmington Show at the WALH studio Monday morning. It’s always fun to sit in the studio and talk with friends about life and the interesting, unusual and funny things we have experienced and observed in life.

During a break in our conversation, Dennis played some music. One of the songs was an old James Taylor song that was written by Carole King. It was originally released in 1971 and quickly became a big hit for both artists – “You’ve Got a Friend.”

As the song was playing, my cellphone started to vibrate. I stepped out of the studio to take the call.

It was from a close friend. Danny was calling to let me know that a good friend of ours had died during the night. She and her family had been in our prayers for several months, as she waged her personal battle against cancer.

We knew that hospice had just gotten involved, but, despite knowing that, the news was staggering.

Thinking of her and her husband and family, I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes as I walked back into the studio. James Taylor was still singing… “If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds, and that old north wind should begin to blow. Keep your head together, and call my name out loud. Soon I’ll be knocking upon your door.”

James Taylor and Carole King were absolutely right. Nearly 50 years later, that message is still true. Friends help us get though the sadness and tragedy of life.

Without friends to help us navigate the dark times; without friends and family who can make us smile when our hearts are broken, our lives would often be unbearable.

Having family and friends show up when help is needed can make the difference between being able to cope with a tragedy and having a tragedy consume you.

As I sat back down in the studio and put on the headphones, I heard Dennis say that he wanted to change direction and talk about dumb warning signs that he had seen. For the next several minutes, I was able to laugh with Dennis and Jamel as we talked about warning signs.

Like, the notice on the bottle of pills that came from the veterinarian. It advised that the dog should not take these pills with alcohol. I’ve had several pets, but can’t remember any of them having a drinking problem.

Apparently, there is also a notice on certain brands of toothpaste that adviSe people that the contents of the tube are not to be used for food preparation.

When I got home, I had to check the tube of toothpaste in our restroom. It didn’t mention food preparation, but it did say specifically – “Do not swallow. If more than is used for brushing is accidentally swallowed, get medical help or call a Poison Control Center right away.”

Now, there must be some mighty powerful ingredients in that toothpaste.

For a few minutes, Dennis and Jamel brightened my day and helped me smile and even laugh a little. That’s what friends do. They bring a smile or a laugh that can brighten the darkest spots that the gloom of life creates.

Pastor Dean Feldmeyer once said that the five most pleasant words you can hear when you need help or are facing hardship is – “I am on my way.” That is so true.

I was reminded of Dean’s words as I heard James Taylor sing, “When you’re down and troubled, and you need a helping hand, and nothing, nothing is going right. Just close your eyes and think of me, and soon I will be there, to brighten up even your darkest night.”

Sickness and death will always be a part of life.

But, dealing with those times of life require that we lift each other up; even carry each other for a while, until the healing can begin.

That’s when the smiles can start to return and the joy, that is life, can once more be realized.

Randy Riley is President of Council of Wilmington.

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Randy Riley

Contributing columnist

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