Talk about gone with the wind.
WBNS-TV viewers in Columbus, Ohio, missed the deciding moments of Sunday’s North Carolina-Kentucky regional title game — Malik Monk’s tying 3 and Luke Maye’s final-second winner — because its weather staff cut in to deliver news of a tornado warning for Franklin and Madison counties.
Heidi was unavailable for comment.
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Headlines
—At TheKicker.com: “New combine event clocks NFL owners as they run from Kaepernick.”
—At TheOnion.com: “Parents assure scared child there’s no such thing as Skip Bayless.”
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Sports quiz
The biggest upset of this year’s NCAA Tournament was:
a) Wisconsin beating Villanova
b) South Carolina beating Duke
c) Luke Maye being in class at North Carolina at 8 a.m. Monday — 16 hours after hitting the shot to beat Kentucky
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Dead Duck Dept.
Wednesday marked the final episode in the 11-year run of “Duck Dynasty” on A&E.
In other words, last call.
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Sports quiz II
Major League Baseball just announced its first official hot dog, and it is:
a) Nathan’s
b) Oscar Mayer
c) Manny Ramirez
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Just sin, baby
A Nevada brothel owner says he plans to open a Raiders-themed bordello in 2020.
And for an extra $50, they’ll even throw a penalty flag for excessive celebration.
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Color us impressed
Between the lines? No kidding.
The Washington Post is commemorating Opening Day by offering its readers an MLB coloring book.
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Hitting the showers
New Mariners pitcher Drew Smyly will miss the season’s first 6-8 weeks for what manager Scott Servais originally described as a “soggy” elbow.
Soggy in Seattle? He’ll fit right in!
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Talking the talk
—Phil Mushnick of the New York Post, on Jim Nantz’s sugar-coated coverage of the NCAA Tournament and Masters on CBS: “Mid-March through early April, I don’t know if we’d be better off listening to Nantz or pouring him on our pancakes.”
—Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the Cavaliers’ 65-39 loss to Florida in the NCAA Tournament: “If Virginia’s Tony Bennett were a football coach, he’d be looking for a new offensive coordinator.”
—Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on the upside to Charles Barkley’s feud with UCLA team dad LaVar Ball: “Seven honorary degrees from USC.”
—Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on the Raiders’ move to Las Vegas: “Young, fit, rich, testosterone-crazed egomaniacs in a town with 24-hour gambling, drinking, hookers and strippers. What could possibly go wrong?”
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Batting cleanup
Honest Company is rolling out a new line of “Born A Fan” diapers featuring MLB team logos.
In other words, more than the bases will be full this season.
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Gathering points, 2 by 2
Suspended Knicks center Joakim Noah is a 49 percent shooter over his 10-year NBA career but is 0 for 15 from 3-point range.
In other words, Noah’s best work comes inside the … nah, too easy.
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Tweet of the Week
From ex-Duke star Christian Laettner, after North Carolina’s Luke Maye made like Laettner and beat Kentucky with a last-second shot: “Luke, my son … May the force of the (hashtag)32 be with you. (hashtag)uncdownsthecats (hashtag)theshotlives.”
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Sign of the times
Spotted on a placard in the stands at a Cavs-Hornets game in Charlotte: “Thomas, get your grades back up and next time you’ll be here. Love, Dad.”
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NCAA headlines
—At SportsPickle.com: “Report: Joe Mixon just a kid who made a mistake if he’s available to your team in the 3rd round.”
—At TheKicker.com: “Adam Silver waiting outside Kentucky dorms with U-Haul.”
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Paging Goose Gossage
Wednesday’s softball game between Illinois and Illinois State was delayed when a Canada goose landed in the outfield and refused to leave.
Or to put it in baseball terms: just a loud fowl.
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Quote marks
—At Fark.com, after Brody Chernoff, 6-year-old son of the Indians GM, announced over the air during a spring-training broadcast that his dad wants to sign All-Star shortstop Francisco Lindor to a seven-year contract: “This kid is so grounded.”
—Eric Kolenich of the Richmond (Va.) Times-Dispatch, after Winthrop’sPat Kelsey left UMass standing at the altar just 30 minutes before he was to be introduced as the Minutemen’s new basketball coach: “Hope the hors d’oeuvres were refundable.”
—Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after UCLA’sLonzo Ball proclaimed he’s a better player than fellow one-and-doner Markelle Fultz of Washington: “Sounds like the apple doesn’t swagger far from the tree.”
—Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on the FBI resources used to track down Tom Brady’s stolen Super Bowl jersey: “Brady’s jersey is an important American artifact, but it ain’t exactly the Shroud of Turin.”
—Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., on the death of California podiatrist Tom Amberry, 94, who once hit a record 2,750 consecutive free throws: “That beat Shaquille O’Neal’sNBA best by only 2,748.”
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